This originally aired on October 27, 2014, but I happened upon it the day after Halloween. “Sugar activates the brain in a very special way, reminiscent of cocaine.” Yup. I know that feeling. This kind of data is what keeps me on the wagon.
Allie Brosh is one of my favorite ambassadors of humanity. She draws and writes about her inner world in a way that is weirdly captivating and get-out-my-head spot on. But I am new to her work, and only after picking up her book did I discover her wildly popular post from 2010, The God of Cake.
If you, too, are a sugar addict…you’re welcome. And I’m sorry. It hits a tender nerve, but I dare you not to pee yourself laughing.
Puttering is my dominant activity of late. Not in the curious, playful way your dad used to putter in the garage on Saturdays. I putter with purpose. That purpose is avoidance.
When I updated my Facebook profile with ‘work’ [aw, that’s cute, love], it was absolutely no accident that I identified myself as Writer/Procrastinator.
A few people have asked me, did I go soaring off the wagon last Thursday, face first, into a pool of jellybeans and hot chocolate? I understand this. Part curiosity, part concern.
Short answer? No.
No cheat days, so substitutes, no maple syrup or naturally sweetened-therefore-harmless-right? treats. There are no excuses. You just do it. You practice saying ‘I’m choosing not to eat that right now’ and try to remember your college boyfriend, with whom you spent 3 years. This is called ‘perspective’ and it is your friend. Happy discovery: if I survived his horseshit for more than 1000 days, I can do anything for 30.