stumble, cupcake

Then and now

For most of the day, I’ve been reviewing the events of this day exactly one year ago. And it was going fine…early labor, shooting that tv commercial with my brother (and labor slowing down); all that anticipation, knowing that some time very soon I would officially be a mother (very soon? Sure. 27 hours or so…).

But, you know, I was ready for all that. Or I thought so at the time…actual parenthood took a bit of adjustment. What I am saying, though, is that none of it was taking me by surprise. After being pregnant for nine months, the result was expected, inevitable…welcome. Finally! The baby!

It was the events of this evening, however, that I was not at all prepared for. My daughter just took her first steps.

I know. Inevitable, yes. Expected, absolutely. Welcome? I thought so. But as I stood there, holding the video camera and suddenly tearing up, I realized I was not at all ready for her to just grow up like that. Right there, as I watched.

It was just two weeks ago that she fell asleep sitting up in the corner of her crib, worn out from the arts parade. So tired from her missed nap and the bustle and fresh air, she must have just relaxed back into the crib bumper and thought, ‘oh yeah. This’ll do just fine.’ When I discovered her, all beautiful and slack faced and completely lovely, I remember thinking, I could do moments like this forever.

But the moments evolve, I guess. They grow up, pile up, and in my sweet new toddler’s case…they march on.

Happy birthday, little chick. Tomorrow you are one whole year old. Please, please, keep these moments coming.


patti carlyle

Writer, feminist and activist in Cleveland, Ohio. I curate a collectic blog of quotes, links, images and long form writing. Learn more or find me on Facebook, Twitter, .

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